from the August 1993 San Diego A.A. Coordinator Newsletter

When I surrendered, you came into my life.
All this time I battled to keep you away.
Your love is too powerful and all consuming.
This meant commitments I didn't want to keep.

In your wisdom you waited for me to be humbled.
Once again, I found myself walking down that lonely street.
Misery and humiliation were familiar to see again.
Falling, I couldn't stop, and stared into death's face.
But you protected me from harm.

Scared and angry I trudged on.
Knowing full well what lay at the end of the tunnel.
Someone save me, I cried, sitting in an abandoned house.
There I sat, wondering, "Is this what life will be?"
Suicide danced in my mind gain.
This nightmare I created
When will it ever end?

Waking up the next morning,
There was some sliver of hope
To continue this downhill journey
But insanity was upon me again,
Dark thoughts became reality.
Once again I was taken to the house of pain.
"What next?" I thought.
"It's now or never!"

I opened my heart to you.
The pilot light was turned on, life had a new meaning.
How can I repay you?  Not in words but in feelings.
I know I must give back what was given to me.
Carry the message to all. "Help your fellow man
And I'll give you freedom."

~ Rick, San Diego